- Demeta Levatte
- Aug 26, 2023
- 3 min read
Subdued. There was no way I'd regain footing this time. I'd managed to wriggle out of every takedown until now. Running out of strategy, my last power move proved pointless. Spent from the daylong battle, I slipped into retreat for the night.
“Oh, no!" I declared. "Not today!" It was now a different day where, yet again, I was in another match with my opponent. I couldn't escape. It was everywhere I was. "I've been wrestling with you long enough!"
Desperate. Trying to guilt the Lord into helping me would be my next resort. I grumbled, "You must not like me very much. You love me, Lord, but I don't think you like me." In my mind, I was an easy target since using Scripture as retaliation wasn't working, and God wasn't fighting for me when He knew I was in no shape to contend.
Then, one day, while reading the Bible, a particular passage leaped from the page into my heart:
"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the Light of life. (John 8:12)"
It suddenly dawned on me that my enemy, shame, was everywhere I was because I accompanied shame. I often dwelled on past mistakes. Consequently, repetitive self-blame, negative thoughts, and defeating self-talk were always with me. Shame led me to dark places in my mind and wore me mentally and physically.
In John 8:12, Jesus calls Himself the Light of the world, illustrating He's the single source of light for all believers who follow Him. His light's greater than that produced by the sun, moon, and stars. No matter the time of day or where we are, we'll never live in spiritual darkness when we walk in His ways. His light is truth, and living in it leads to a virtuous life. I needed to walk in the light of God's truth, not the darkness of the enemy's lies.
Immediately, my eyes fully awakened to Jesus' impact on the world when He atoned for our sins. Through His life, death, and resurrection, He became the guiding light, illuminating the pathway He paved for us to follow—leading from sin and death to abundant and eternal life.
When the light switch turned on in me, spiritually speaking, a couple of things occurred:
• I began embracing the truth of Jesus' light and letting go of past shadows, understanding I'm new in Christ and God's grace is enough.
• I found hope in knowing Jesus, the true light, who can shed light on the dark areas of our life stories through God’s Word, will lead me in the right direction, unburdened by shame.
If you're a believer who battles shame or other negative thoughts due to past mistakes, I encourage you to do the following:
• Forgive yourself for how you behaved in the world when you were in it. You did as God expected! You're already forgiven as a child of God.
• Allow God, not your past, to speak for you. He considers you justified and righteous.
• Realize you've yet to lose. Jesus fought and won on your behalf. Now, you have the gift of eternal life. Therefore, focus on working out your salvation instead.
• Help cast light on your past by using it for good. By sharing your story, you can positively change someone's life.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for illuminating my life. Help me see You as my light source so whenever my mind wants to wander toward the darkness of my past sins, I stay on track by following You instead. Give me strength not to wrestle with self-defeating thoughts but to walk in victory through Your Word and my faith in Christ and to see myself as you do. Lord, let your light shine forth as truth that sin and darkness no longer have power over me. As long as I move forward in You, I won't be led back to dark places. Finally, God, transform my past mistakes into something good.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.